I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
