Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
