We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
