Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm both gender and math confused
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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