Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
