I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize