just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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