I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
