i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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