That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
