I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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