I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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