This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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