I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
