We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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