Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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