I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
