how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize