I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
