my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There's always time for handjobs
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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