dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
