70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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