Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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