I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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