im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
