I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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