Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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