Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
