How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
