Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
