come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
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reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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