She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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