Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize