Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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