yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
