Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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