when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
you win again, gameday.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
