I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
