Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she looked like the before picture.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
