Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
her facebook's as public as her vagina
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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