Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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