Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
