The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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