i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
