I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
