Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i would punch a child for taco bell
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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