he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
