You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
