Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This couple is walking their pig around campus
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
