Pappa wants mamma naked
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone