My first STD was from a foam party
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
