there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize