I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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