he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize