Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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