this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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