I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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