thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wanna passion pit in your ass
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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