I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
