I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just want nice things and good sex
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
