he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
